The Importance of Foster Families
Written by Tiffany Anderson Cruz

If there is one thing you may know about children in foster care, they often live in multiple different foster homes and usually age out of care. While the goal of foster care is to reunify the child/youth with their parents, it is not always a possibility. This situation is something to which I can relate. When I entered the foster care system with two of my three siblings, there was no chance of reunification because both of my parents were set to be incarcerated for a long time and, in turn, had to have their parental rights terminated. I lived in five different homes, the last of which I was placed just seven months before I aged out of care. I believe a child’s success in the system is influenced heavily by the support system they have.

Most children who come into care experience a lack of control in their lives, even more so after being taken from their families. Too often, these children find themselves in similar situations as mine while in care. Every foster child deserves a family to support and love them unconditionally. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. These children have almost assuredly experienced all ranges of trauma throughout their young lives. They do not trust or become attached easily to their foster families because they know they probably will not be in the home long.  Earning the trust of these children, especially teenagers, is a feat that takes time and does not happen overnight. These children need to know they are not at risk of being sent to a different home at the first offense. They need someone to stand by their side, support them, encourage them, and understand it will not always be easy, but it is worth it.

I can say from my experience these children know which families are not in it for the right reasons and which ones genuinely care about their well-being. I knew I was not an easy youth to deal with when I was younger. I lived a life with my biological parents, who exserted full of control over me, and decided I would not allow anyone to control me after that. I fought against anyone who tried to have any level of control over me. I believe foster families must be able to manage their expectations when dealing with teenagers. These children have been raised in a way that may not match the way the foster family has raised their children or even the way they themselves were raised. I feel lucky to have found a family that persevered through the hardships to meet me through it. I asked this family to adopt me when I was 22 years old when I realized they truly became my family and how grateful I was for all they had done for me.  An essential piece of being a foster family is that when the youth turns 18, it is vital to continue supporting them and being there for them. Fostering is not just a short-term commitment but a lifetime. You would be changing these children and youth’s lives for the better.

Written by Tiffany Anderson Cruz
Louisiana Fosters Ambassador